


A Little Hot Couture

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-05
Updated: 2006-09-05
Packaged: 2018-11-21 01:18:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: A dressed-up PWP wherein Mulder and Krycek have a fit, so to speak.





	A Little Hot Couture

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

A Little Hot Couture

## A Little Hot Couture

### by Courtney Gray

##### [Story Headers]

  


"You're going to blind somebody with that thing, Mulder." 

Casting an affronted look at his companion, Mulder held the necktie up to his shirt and looked into the mirror again. "It's Versace. It has panache." 

"It looks radioactive. That yellow is glowing." 

"Mulder flipped the tie up and peered at it closely, touching one of the big triangles of color with a fingertip. Definitely goes well with the maroon." 

"It's just as bad as the one over there that looks like something Jackson Pollock used to scrub his studio floor." 

Mulder turned his attention to the fancy display case containing the other tie he was considering. At least a dozen clashing colors splashed in blotches and drips all over it with no discernable design. He thought it was pretty cool. 

"Your taste in ties sucks. Just buy one of those eyesores and let's get the hell out of here." 

Mulder's lips stretched in a slow smile. "You haven't even tried on any suits, Alex." He pointed to the rack of suits nearby. 

"And I'm not going to," replied Krycek, throwing back his leather-clad shoulders. "I'm not the one going back to work for the Bureau, you are." 

"You're a Special Consultant. Granted, as my painfully astute memory serves, your taste in suits is worse than my taste in ties, but you can't walk around looking like you're a hit man for the Mob." Mulder's eyes twinkled. "Even if you were. Sortof." He let his gaze slowly wander up from the heavy, scuffed black boots, slim black jeans, black open-necked shirt, and black leather jacket, to the piercing green eyes that reflected the smirk on the man's face. 

"Save the world and they make you a Special Consultant." Krycek inclined his head with a meaningful look at Mulder. "Or they offer you your old job back and the President gives you a medal that you can't show to anybody." He shrugged. "I will damn well wear whatever I want." 

"How alliterative of you," replied Mulder as he brushed his fingers over the lapels of his finely tailored suit jacket. "Yup, we're not only the universe's most secret agents, but we're also the world's most unknown heroes. But what the hell, the pay is good, and the X-Files finally has a real budget." He wiggled his eyebrows. "So, what say you grab a suit, any suit, and we get your hot ass into a fitting room and you let me take it out for a whirl?" 

Krycek snorted. "Gee, now that's a euphemism I haven't heard before." But he gave Mulder a sly, considering glance. "You wanna have sex in the fitting room?" 

"I wanna have sex in any room." Mulder ran his tongue suggestively over his upper lip. 

"Samantha is expecting us for dinner." 

Mulder made a face and looked at his watch. "You sure know how to dampen the mood." At Krycek's grin, he added. "I hope she's not going to attempt beef stroganoff again." 

A small shudder went through Krycek. "Okay. Maybe we have enough time for me to try on a pair of slacks or something." His long lashes lowered to veil his eyes for a moment. "Yeah. Tell you what we can do; I'll get down on my knees to test the fabric while I swirl my tongue over your balls, you know, the way that drives you crazy, and maybe I'll graze them a little with the edge of my teeth before I suck that thick long cock of yours into my mouth and make you cum." 

Color flushed Mulder's cheeks and his expensive suit pants began to develop a definite bulge. 

"Or, if you prefer," continued Krycek as he took hold of the silk tie and slid it very deliberately through and out of Mulder's fingers, his voice whispery and thick as honey. "You can push me up against the wall, shove my jeans down and play with my ass before you make me bend over and spread myself open so you can shove that big hard dick into me an inch at a time." 

Mulder swallowed, shifting a little from one foot to the other. "Damn, Alex, I like it when you talk dirty. What I wouldn't give for some lube right now." 

Smirking, Krycek fished into his leather jacket and pulled out a small blue tube. "I may not be a Boy Scout, but I'm always prepared, loverman." 

"Keep talking and I'm going to throw you down right here in the middle of Designer Collections for Men and fuck your brains out." 

The air smoldered between them as Krycek reached out blindly towards the rack of clothes. 

"May I help you make a selection, sir?" 

Two pairs of startled eyes turned towards the short, smiling man in a natty double-breasted pinstripe walking swiftly towards them. 

"Oh, sir, that color is just not you," the man told Krycek. A silver nameplate over his breast pocket announced him as "Sidney." He whisked away the suit hanger beneath Krycek's fingers and picked up the tie that now lay on the plush rug and flung them both back over the rack. "And, frankly sir, these are last year's styles. I would not be able to forgive myself if I allowed a man of your...presence to waste his time on these rejects." He took hold of Krycek's elbow, ignoring the stunned expression on his face, and began leading him across the spacious room. "I have just the thing for you. The moment I spotted you, I knew you were a D&G man..." 

Mulder shook himself, trying to get his cock to release his mind again. He absently noted the tan checked suit that Krycek had almost taken. "Ugh." His feet began following after Krycek like metal filings drawn to a magnet. 

Sidney was still talking. "With your eyes and those shoulders, oh, I have just the thing. It's a deep olive, well, almost black really, one-button three piece D&G..." 

"What's a D & G?'" muttered Krycek, blinking in confusion as he gazed down at Sidney's surprisingly firm grip on his elbow. 

Sidney waved his free hand effusively at the gold lettering on one wall above a few artfully arranged racks. "Dolce and Gabbana, of course. Now, here we are, here it is." He gestured reverently to a suit hanging all by itself on a gold hanger post. "Isn't it fabulous? It just came in. Absolutely exquisite. I'd be happy to bring it to a fitting room for you and help you try it on. I'm sure you'll--" 

Mulder walked up to them just as Krycek managed to jerk his arm away from Sidney's tenacious hold. Gray cells finally regaining control, he wedged himself into the space between them and gave the salesman a tight smile. "Thanks all the same, uh Sidney, but I can help my friend with the suit. Where's the fitting room?" 

Pale brows rising, Sidney looked nonplussed for a moment, his eyes taking in Mulder's appearance. "Well, oh, yes, well. Of course, sir. My, is that RL you're wearing?" 

Mulder looked down at himself, his brain making the quick translation. "Um, yeah, Ralph Lauren." 

"Very flattering. Excellent color choice. That shade of dark blue brings out the deep gold tones in your hair and the warm hazel flecks in your eyes." Sidney smiled. "Quite nice indeed." 

"Where is the fitting room?" repeated Krycek with an icy tone and unblinking stare that had Sidney swallowing back whatever else he might have wanted to say. 

His smile faltering, the salesman quickly removed the designer suit from its intricate security hanger and led them briskly towards an alcove framed by artfully arranged ferns. "Right this way, gentlemen." 

The alcove opened into a short corridor with two well-spaced doors on either side. All four doors were ajar. "Well, here we are." Sidney pushed the first door open and waved them inside. "I would be happy to assist you with--" 

Krycek took the suit hanger and gave Sidney a precise little shove that had the man taking a step back with a tiny gasp. 

Mulder reached out and patted the salesman consolingly on the shoulder. "Thanks, Sid. We can take it from here." _Sotto voce_ , he added. "Just between you and me, my friend hates to dress in front of strangers. You see, he has this problem with buttonholes. Pre-pubescent trauma involving a vintage Singer sewing machine. Tragic story. He's still working through it. Don't worry; I'll make sure he gets the proper feel of the suit. We'll be out in a few minutes, assuming he doesn't start hyperventilating. Don't be concerned if you hear any strange noises. It's part of his therapy." Mulder gave the man a quick grin and closed the door gently on his stupefied expression. 

Chuckling, Mulder turned to meet Krycek's irritated frown. "What the hell was all that crap about?" 

"Shush," said Mulder, finger to his lips, head angling towards the door. 

Krycek huffed, reached out and flung open the door and glared at Sidney's quickly retreating back as the man raced out of the dressing area. Closing the door again, he turned back to Mulder. "Great, now he thinks I'm some kind of nut." Shaking his head, he looked around the dressing room. "Damn, this is larger than some of the hideouts I've used." 

Full length gilt-edged mirrors covered three of the four walls. A brocade covered chair stood in one corner next to an ornate hanger stand. 

"You could put a bed in here," he added as he crossed the room to hang up the suit. 

"If only, but I think we can make do," replied Mulder, gazing from one mirror to the other at their multiple reflections. He came up behind Krycek and slid one arm over a leather clad shoulder and the other around his waist. He snuffled into the dark hair behind his left ear and was just about to run his tongue over that particularly tender spot of skin when Krycek yelped. 

"Two thousand two hundred and ninety nine dollars!" Krycek twisted around, dislodging Mulder and waving a deep green suit sleeve at him, dove gray price tag attached. "This thing costs $2,299.00!" 

"Well, it's D&G, Alex," shrugged Mulder. 

"It's more like B S to me." Frown line deepening across the bridge of his nose, Krycek let go of the sleeve. "It's an outrage." 

"Never mind the suit, Alex." Mulder maneuvered his companion around with an effort and tried to slip his hands inside the leather jacket. 

"What a waste of money, just for a stupid label," continued Krycek, his head turning back to the hanger. "What is it, a few yards of material? What's so special--" 

"Alex--" 

"Granted, it feels like pretty good fabric, but what the hell else--" 

"Alex." 

"I mean, I don't mind paying whatever for a decent leather jacket, you know, or a good gun, but--" 

Mulder grabbed Krycek's face, turned it back and plastered their mouths together. He moved his mouth firmly over the soft, plump lips until they parted with an "Mmmm" of attention. 

Tongues playing back and forth between moist, searching kisses, Mulder drew Krycek's leather jacket smoothly off his shoulders, letting it fall to the thick carpet. Moments later, his black shirt was unbuttoned and Mulder's teeth had latched on to a tightening nipple, tongue tickling over the small bud. 

"Damn, Mulder, oh...you...we...can't...oh..." The rest was lost in a drawn-out moan as Mulder's hand began firmly massaging the hard line of Krycek's cock through black denim. Surrendering, Krycek slumped back against the mirror, eyes closing. 

The hiss of a zipper and Mulder was on his knees, smiling as he pulled down the jeans and released Krycek's erection from black silk briefs. The fleeting thought of how long it took to get Alex to wear silk underwear or, even better, nothing at all occasionally, instead of sporting his proverbial gray cotton boxers made his grin widen before he returned to his enjoyable task of licking a wet trail up and down the thick, now straining, cock. His fingers played with the heavy balls, rolling them pleasantly against his palms while he nibbled lightly on the underside of Krycek's dick and puffed hot breaths over the head, his tongue flicking a drop of precum off the tip. 

Krycek was making little mewling sounds. Mulder could feel the tremors running through the long legs as he sucked in as much of his lover's penis as he could. His hands pulled the briefs down to the jeans and snaked around to cup the full, round asscheeks, squeezing and spreading them. 

Excited grunts and groans filled the air. Mulder glanced up as he licked and sucked the cock in a steady, then quickening rhythm. Krycek was breathing fast, noises escaping with each breath, long-lashed eyes shut tight, glistening lips parted, expression somewhere between bliss and agony, his head tossing from side to side. 

Mulder sensed the tension cresting in his lover's body. He pressed a finger against Krycek's hole and grabbed the base of his cock with his other hand, pumping as his tongue flicked over the spot under the cockhead that always sent his man over the edge. 

"Ahhh, Mulderrrr!" 

And then Mulder's mouth was filled with bittersweet fluid. He swallowed as much as he could. His own cock was straining uncomfortably against his slacks as he finally pulled away, releasing the softening penis. Scrabbling on the floor for the leather jacket, he found the tube. 

Krycek was already turning around, a small, dreamy smile playing over his face, his breathing still heavy, his voice husky. "C'mon, babe, push that hot cock into me. Wanna feel it move inside me. Wanna be fucked." 

Mulder was the one panting as he applied the lube to Krycek's anus, more roughly than he would've wanted, his need screaming at him as he caressed the plump round buttocks. 

Every time he took Alex, he just wound up wanting him more and more. It always felt like he was being allowed to tame something wild and dangerous, but only for that moment, only for that time and place. 

"C'mon, stick it in," growled Alex, spreading his legs as much as he could with his briefs and jeans pooled around the top of his boots. He braced his right hand against the mirror above his head and presented his ass like a present. 

Mulder freed his cock, rigid and weeping, and took hold of Krycek's hip. He let his cockhead slide up and down the crack, torturing himself for a moment before he pressed it against Krycek's slick hole. "Can't...go slow," he managed to warn. 

Alex simply pushed back, taking Mulder in two long, measured thrusts. 

"Ahhhgh, yeah!" The ecstatic shout could've come from one or both of them. 

Mulder looked down at where their bodies joined as he began to fuck, watching his cock pushing in and out of Alex's ass, his strokes angling to hit that special spot, to go as deep inside his lover as he could. Mulder felt like fireworks were going off in his blood. It felt so good, so damn good. Their reflections were all around them, erotic tableaus, as the two men moved together, lost in sexual heat, lost in each other. 

With a cry muffled against the back of Krycek's neck, Mulder's body stiffened and he came, spilling himself deep inside his lover. He clung to the strong shoulders as the world tilted in a euphoric haze and then slowly cleared and righted itself once more. 

After a time, their harsh breathing settled, and Mulder realized that Alex was nuzzling his hand and rubbing his head against Mulder's face. His mate could get downright playful, almost...cuddly sometimes, particularly if they made love in some unconventional location. Like a fancy men's dressing room. Mulder sighed happily at a flash of heated memories: the back of a moving transport truck piled with explosives, behind a thundering waterfall, on the big oak table in Scully's newly remodeled kitchen. Yeah, that had been especially memorable. 

His cock slipped out of its human sheath. He pulled away reluctantly to let Krycek turn around. They were in each other's arms immediately, Krycek covering his hair and neck with quick, soft kisses before hugging him tight. 

Mulder loved this momentarily docile Alex, affectionate and as tractable as the man could ever be. His own body humming with satisfaction, he rubbed his hands up and down the strong back. "Hey, babe, we better get dressed before Sidney thinks we died in here." 

"Fuck Sidney." 

"Mmm, no thanks. I've got the best right here in my arms," replied Mulder. 

Smiling sweetly and gazing up through his lashes, Alex kissed his nose. "I think your cum is leaking down my thigh." 

Mulder bit down on his lip to keep from laughing. "Hmm. Okay, well, lemme just tuck myself in here and I'll...clean you up." He adjusted his clothing, zipped himself up, and used the handkerchief in his suit pocket to wipe a thin trail of semen from his lover's ass and thigh. 

Mulder glanced at the D&G on the hanger. "You're half undressed anyway, Alex. You wanna try on the suit?" 

A sated, docile Krycek gave the item on the hanger a thoughtful glance. "What the hell...okay." 

Several minutes later, Mulder's jaw dropped open as his eyes met Krycek's in the mirror. 

"Oh, fuck," said Krycek. 

The suit was gorgeous. Alex was gorgeous. Mulder was instantly reminded of something Oscar Wilde once wrote. " _One should either be a work of art or wear a work of art,_ " he said aloud. He stepped up beside him and gazed at their reflections. "You look like you've managed to do both, Alex. You should be strutting down a runway in Paris. What, don't you like it?" 

"Oh, fuck." Krycek ran his hand lightly over the material, turning his head to check out the side view. 

"I thought we just did, but I'm game if you are," returned Mulder with a grin. He _knew_ that expression on his lover's face. Alex _liked_ the suit. And Mulder could see why; it fit like it was made for him and the color, that smoky olive that was barely a shade less than black was perfect on him. It made his eyes seem a more intense green, complimented his pale skin and dark hair. The cut of the jacket emphasized his wide shoulders and trimmed his waist even more, and the pants draped his longs legs in an almost sensual, classic line. The vest added an extra touch of elegance and sophistication. 

"It feels...comfortable. I never felt comfortable in a suit before." 

"It doesn't even need any tailoring. It looks great on you. That's D&G, baby." 

"That's two thousand, two hundred and ninety-nine dollars. Baby." 

"It's not like you can't afford it, Alex. You haven't even touched the inheritance the Brit left you." 

Krycek scowled into the mirror. "That's not the point. It's...it's the principle of the thing. It's just a...a ridiculous extravagance." 

Mulder ran his hand over the rich, silky material across Krycek's back. "Ridiculous extravagance, huh? What about the ten-grand telescope you bought me for my birthday?" Mulder reached up and carded his fingers through his lover's soft dark hair, the action rewarded a moment later by a little sigh. 

"You wanted to look at the stars from our bedroom." Krycek turned and touched his forehead to Mulder's, his voice breathy and tender. "I'd pick the stars out of the sky and hand them to you, if I could." 

Mulder felt a catch in his throat. Alex rarely verbalized his feelings for Mulder but damn, when he did... 

Mulder cupped his lover's face and let their lips brush together in a delicate caress. The terrible years of battling the global Consortium were behind them. No more subterfuge, no more separations, no more painful, necessary deceptions, no more near-death escapes. At long last, they were slowly learning to build a life together. 

With an effort, Mulder stepped away. "I'm buying you this suit." 

Green eyes widened then narrowed. "No, you're not. I don't need it." Krycek took off the suit jacket and hung it back up. 

Their life would never be dull, that was for certain, thought Mulder. "I'm not getting it for you because you need it, jackass," he snapped as he watched his stubborn lover strip off the pants and vest. "I'm getting it for you because it looks fucking fabulous on you and I want to buy it for you. I want to give it to you. You know, as in a _gift_." 

Clad only in black socks and black silk briefs, Krycek still managed to look formidable. "No." 

"You drive me crazy, Alex." 

Krycek started pulling on his own clothes, jaw set. 

Quickly evaluating the situation, Mulder realized it was not the time for fair play. He softened his expression, his lips forming a pout. Reaching out, he took hold of Alex's hand gently, drawing him back. He stared soulfully into the suddenly wary eyes. "Please, baby?" 

He waited in the seconds of silence that followed, watching the stubborn resolve begin to crumble. 

"Don't look at me like that. And stop doing that thing with your lip." 

Mulder just waited. Finally, Krycek's shoulders slumped. "You are such a bastard, Mulder." He let out a long sigh. "Okay, but are you sure you want to spend--" 

Mulder grabbed the suit and turned for the door. "Yes," he answered firmly as he headed out of the fitting room. 

Sidney eyed Krycek nervously as the two men approached the sales counter. "Oh, er, I trust that it, uh, wasn't a...stressful experience, sir?" 

Lips quirking slightly, Krycek gave him a shrug. "I managed, thanks." 

Mulder held out the suit. "He'll take it. Wrap it up." 

A huge smile lit the salesman's face as he took the suit. "Oh, that's wonderful, an excellent decision!" He turned to Krycek. "Will that be on your credit card, sir?" 

"Yes, mine," answered Mulder fishing out his Gold Card. "Here you go." 

Glancing back and forth for a moment, Sidney accepted the card. "Um, of course, Mr....Mulder. Will your friend need any adjustments on the suit? We have tailors on staff that can make any necessary alterations immediately, if you like." 

Krycek shook his head, offering the salesman a genuine smile. "The name's Alex and it fit very well. No alterations needed. Thanks." 

Sidney seemed to need a moment to recover from the effects of that smile. "Oh. Very good, sir...uh, Alex. If I may say, when I saw you, I had a feeling that suit would fit you like a glove. My twenty years in the haute couture business has taught me that the man makes the clothes as much as the clothes make the man." He handed Mulder the sales slip to sign and carefully placed the suit in a black and gold zipped hanger bag. 

As he came around the counter to give Krycek the bag, he hesitated, as if he wasn't quite sure whether to say something or not. 

"What?" asked Krycek, reading the salesman's face. 

"Uh, I regret that I didn't have the opportunity to see you in the suit. Perhaps you and Mr. Mulder will return again sometime and you might, er, wear it on that occasion, sir?" .  
"Alex," corrected Krycek genially. He glanced at Mulder out of the corner of his eye. "I have to admit, I could get very fond of your fitting rooms." 

Sidney looked pleased if a little confused as he gave the black-clad man a shaky smile. "Ah, yes, well...Alex, we aim to provide our customers with a complete and satisfying couture experience." 

"It was certainly that, Sidney," agreed Mulder with a smug grin. "Your fine establishment has definitely broadened our sartorial appreciation and, yes, I think we might just be back one day soon. I'd love to try out something new in your fitting room." 

"I'll wear the suit," added Krycek with a glint in his eyes. 

"Delightful!" crowed Sidney. "The new Fall Armani collection will be here in less than two months," he added. 

"Huh, Armani, I always liked his stuff. Might be time to add a new suit to my wardrobe. We might just stop by then." 

"I'll look forward to it with pleasure, gentleman," replied Sidney sincerely. 

The salesman smiled at Alex and Mulder as they nodded a goodbye and headed for the exit. The two men paused for a moment, their eyes meeting in a look that was more intimate than a touch. An expression of wistful envy settled over Sidney's face. With a sigh, he continued to watch them as they walked out the door, side by side. 

_The End_

  
 

* * *

Post a comment  
or read posted comments on this story. 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Title:   **A Little Hot Couture**   
Author:  Courtney Gray   [email/website]   
Details:   **Standalone**  |  **NC-17**  |  **22k**  |  **09/05/06**   
Pairings:  Mulder/Krycek   
Category:  Humor, PWP, AU (Alternate Universe)   
Summary:  A dressed-up PWP wherein Mulder and Krycek have a fit, so to speak.   
  
  
[top of page] 


End file.
